OK, some of you may have noticed this blog hasn’t been updated in a while. This was mainly because we had the World Indoor Champs to focus on, we got famous, it all went to our heads with these BBC meetings and we lost focus of what was important, athletics. This didn’t stop Joe pandering to London’s press.
Then the outdoor season started. Joe travelled to some European city, finished last, thought ‘ooh, something’s wrong here’ and went to the doctor. The doctor told him he had a broken leg. This wasn’t brilliant news. As an experienced coach I can tell you that it’s harder to run fast times with a cast on your leg. No outdoor season, no Olympics, loads of coffee.
Just when we were thinking ‘this is shit, who’s talent are we going to piggyback in the name of humour now?’, Gareth Warburton, our favourite Welsh 800m runner, went and broke the Welsh outdoor record. And ran the Olympic ‘A’ standard.
This didn’t seem to be enough for the British Olympic selectors but Gareth thought ‘no, I’m not having that’ and appealed their decision along with 10 other athletes. 10 athletes watched their appeals fail, Gareth won. Probably because he’s skill. Richard Kilty looks especially unhappy at the decision.
So, we have a Welsh 800m runner in the Olympics. It’s not Jimmy, it’s not Joe but it would be utter madness on our part if we didn’t annoy Gareth by following his progress and hopefully finding out stuff about him that has nothing to do with athletics.
Yesterday myself and camera guru Hefin were summoned to BBC towers to talk about our top secret next Olympic Blog project.
After being accosted by a man who seemingly recognised me, we proceeded to the legendary BBC canteen. Is where all the important decisions are made. It’s like a cross between the Oval Office and a soup kitchen. But without the tramps.
We talked to our source in the corporation, we shall call him ‘The Shadow’ to protect his identity. We discussed cameras, lighting, Derek Brockway, microphones, Joe Thomas’ coffee addiction and marketing. It was eye opening. The foundations are laid.
After Jimmy’s complaints about current sponsorship deals in Episode 1, Coach Jarrett set out in disguise to sample different combinations of potential performance enhancing liquids.
He took Hefin, his intrepid cameraman to popular indie band member/Celtic fan hang out, Dempseys in search of the holy grail. We found it. It has bubbles for energy, fruit for health or something and ice for hydration.
Our wide range of merch is growing by the day. One of the most popular people in our videos is obviously Joe’s dad, Ross Thomas. He had even changed his Twitter profile to ‘International athlete standard sperm producer’. We thought it onlt right and just that we honour him with his own t-shirt. The first person to own one? Ross Thomas. Buy one HERE.
In a quiet week in Olympic Blog land, the highlight has come from Twitter. A mysterious individual, known only as Hefin’s Mother tagged myself, Joe and Jimmy in this wonderful work of art and imagination. I for one was in tears when I laid eyes on this magnificent image.
Not an awful lot is going on in Olympic Blog world at the moment, Joe is trying to become a TV star, Jimmy isn’t playing gigs and we’re between filming stuff so I thought I’d read up on nutrition. I got a load of big fat books from the library and read the back of them.
Apparently sugar gives you energy, energy makes you run faster so sweets are good for you. Although sugar is bad for you too. As are sweets. It’s very confusing. Luckily I remembered seeing a Holsten Pils advert where all the sugar turned to alcohol. So, in conclusion, to hedge my bets, I’ve prepared a diet of sweets and lager for Jimmy.
As many of you know, Joe is spending the day being interviewed by Iwan Thomas for the BBC. I’m not sure what format it will take on but in my mind it’s a Frost/Nixon type thing and thus needs a poster. Luckily, my mind is linked directly to Photoshop.
Jimmy Watkins is away in Texas at South By South West with Future Of The Left. Joe Thomas picks up an injury in the Indoor World Championships in Istanbul. He bravely competes in the Semi Final but fails to make the final. Rather than hang around in Turkey, Coach Jarrett suggests that he return to Wales immediately to start practising with his band. Tyrannosaurus Sex.